PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT Archive

  • We all know what an asshole is, but the term I am referring to is someone who purposely targets others with the intent to cause hurt, humiliation, isolation, sabotage, intimidation and emotional distress with verbal and non-verbal behavior. To hell with the sticks and stones rhyme, words and actions can and do hurt. Unlike schoolyard bullying, work-related bullying doesn't involve fists and fights. In trying to appear mature, the adult bully uses words and non-verbal actions to cut their victims down. In fact, surveys show that the people assholes target aren't victims at all. Yes, you read that right: NOT victims. A bit strange isn't it? Don't bullies usually pick on weaklings? That's what I mean by the difference between bullying of children in schools versus adults at work. Child or teenage bullies go for the weaklings that they know won't fight back, usually loners or someone physically smaller. Assholes at work target people for their strengths, even people who are sociable and well liked.1April 5, 2011

    The No Asshole Rule

    We all know what an asshole is, but the term I am referring to is someone who purposely targets others with the intent to cause hurt, humiliation, isolation, sabotage, intimidation and emotional distress with verbal and non-verbal behavior. To hell with the sticks and stones rhyme, words and actions can and do hurt. Unlike schoolyard bullying, work-related bullying doesn’t involve fists and fights. In trying to appear mature, the adult bully uses words and non-verbal actions to cut their victims down. In fact, surveys show that the people assholes target aren’t victims at all. Yes, you read that right: NOT victims. A bit strange isn’t it? Don’t bullies usually pick on weaklings? That’s what I mean by the difference between bullying of children in schools versus adults at work. Child or teenage bullies go for the weaklings that they know won’t fight back, usually loners or someone physically smaller. Assholes at work target people for their strengths, even people who are sociable and well liked.

  • Failing is something frowned upon. The word failure brings images of someone who just didn't quite make it, or someone who tried but didn't try hard enough or a loser. Why do people fear failure so much? It's because if you fail once, it looks bad, but if you fail twice, no one will trust your judgement again. But did you know the people who failed are not the losers? Is that possible? Yes, because at least these people tried. They at least gave it a shot. They got up, risked failing but did it anyway. They faced their fears. Perhaps they didn't win but they didn't die regretting. History may not glorify - and even put down - those who have failed, but there's a class of people who are even bigger failures. What's Worse Than Failure?0March 20, 2011

    What’s Worse Than Failure?

    Failing is something frowned upon. The word failure brings images of someone who just didn’t quite make it, or someone who tried but didn’t try hard enough or a loser.

    Why do people fear failure so much? It’s because if you fail once, it looks bad, but if you fail twice, no one will trust your judgement again.

    But did you know the people who failed are not the losers? Is that possible? Yes, because at least these people tried. They at least gave it a shot. They got up, risked failing but did it anyway. They faced their fears. Perhaps they didn’t win but they didn’t die regretting. History may not glorify – and even put down – those who have failed, but there’s a class of people who are even bigger failures.

    What’s Worse Than Failure?

  • And that includes Anthony Robbins. I've noticed that some people are too afraid to think realistically or to even have mildly negative thoughts in the fear that they may attract bad circumstances into their life. That's fairly true if you're a chronic whinger or a mega life cynic. But there are times where you've gotta pull your head out of your behind and face the music. There is a difference between being positive and being blissfully ignorant. And it's a fine line. Do people who think positively all the time (or try to anyway), never experience bad days? If you think happy thoughts forever, will you never get sick or die? Of course not. 1January 31, 2011

    No One Can Be Positive All The Time

    And that includes Anthony Robbins.

    I’ve noticed that some people are too afraid to think realistically or to even have mildly negative thoughts in the fear that they may attract bad circumstances into their life.

    That’s fairly true if you’re a chronic whinger or a mega life cynic.

    But there are times where you’ve gotta pull your head out of your behind and face the music.

    There is a difference between being positive and being blissfully ignorant. And it’s a fine line.

    Do people who think positively all the time (or try to anyway), never experience bad days? If you think happy thoughts forever, will you never get sick or die? Of course not.

  • You know what? You're sitting in front of a computer with internet connection, with a roof over your head. You got water on tap, access to food, electricity to power your appliances and clothes to wear. Your family is safe, you've studied at a school, you probably have a job or at least your country has opportunities to provide jobs and you probably also have a car (or access to public transport of some sort). How lucky are you? Don't worry I didn't hit my head on anything. I'm just giving out some gratitude and hoping others out there who are reading this also know how lucky they are. Some of you might have debts up to your eyeballs, or have just been laid off. Some of you might drive a leaky car or struggling to make ends meet. Some of you might be poor students or parents trying to figure out how to put food on the table. You might be envious of the "haves" but you are a "haves" yourself without knowing it. 2January 20, 2011

    A Little Gratitude

    You know what?

    You’re sitting in front of a computer with internet connection, with a roof over your head.
    You got water on tap, access to food, electricity to power your appliances and clothes to wear.

    Your family is safe, you’ve studied at a school, you probably have a job or at least your country has opportunities to provide jobs and you probably also have a car (or access to public transport of some sort).

    How lucky are you?

    Don’t worry I didn’t hit my head on anything. I’m just giving out some gratitude and hoping others out there who are reading this also know how lucky they are.

    Some of you might have debts up to your eyeballs, or have just been laid off. Some of you might drive a leaky car or struggling to make ends meet. Some of you might be poor students or parents trying to figure out how to put food on the table. You might be envious of the “haves” but you are a “haves” yourself without knowing it.